Saturday, February 28

no parkin' on the dancefloor

Yes um.
Went to see fourtet dj at plastic people last night, was pretty enjoyable actually.

I went for a cigarette at one point and had to go to the off license and buy some, whilst I was there a bunch of girls that live at Ewen Henderson who I barely know and have never really interacted with before started laughing at me, the ugliest one there said "what's he doing here?!" she laughed for ages and I was like "uh, hello?" she said something else I can't remember but it was snide.

Not really all that bothered outside of the fact that these chicks were a bunch of dorks, skanks and try hard entry level hipster types. Its no good being laughed at by a bunch of walking fashion faux-pas! They were a bunch of jane's from backwater shit holes about to go do their first line of K at some wack East London warehouse party.

Outside of that the night was really fun, I saw Joe from Hot Chip on the dance floor and proceeded to tell him exactly how much I love Hot Chip (I seriously fucking love hot chip) he seemed genuinely touched and he gave me a hug.

Nicest hug I ever got it was so warm and soft.

How many of those skanks ever got hugged by Joe from Hot Chip? None that's how many.

Tuesday, February 24

It was a clean cock tease

I kinda always wanted to make films about awkward romances that go nowhere, or the bitter sweet nuances of the lives of strangers, or about young outsiders adjusting to a world that was never made with them in mind.

Fuck that shit.

If I don't write a screen play with the line "it was a clean cock-tease" or that doesn't star Bill Murray as a jittery care taker, and a young Patrick Dempsey as an awkward virgin who, with the help of the ghost of a dead porn star loses his virginity whilst working a summer job at a run down marina, I'll have basically failed at life.

Sunday, February 22


it feels like meeting an old friend for the first time.

Thursday, February 12

Evelyn "Champagne" King

The last issue of a comic book I really liked came out this month and it sucked, the plot threads from the previous issues weren't picked up at all and nothing really happened, some aliens fought some other aliens, died in the process, but got cloned by an alien and brought back to life, and then the alien brought his dead girlfriend back to life.

Whatever it had a wrap-around cover.

I saw a counsellor at uni on Tuesday, it was allright man, I see her six more times before the term ends and then I have to fill out this thing to see if I feel better about whatever it is I don't feel good about.

After that I checked out an exhibition two of my friends had at uni (which was trashed when I saw it today actually), hung out with Sasha and watched some tv then made my way to the Roxy where I was meeting house mates & co for booze and good times.

That's where the fun begins:

So I'm at elephant and castle underground station sitting down minding my own business, and this fairly gorgeous character is sat down two a seat away from me. No biggie, right? I'll do the whole awkward look-at-her-when-she's-not-looking-try-to-seem-like-I-see-hot-babes-within-two-feet-of-me-all-the-time-read-a-boook-so-i-seem-aloof thing but it doesn't work cause I swear I catch her looking at me out of the corner of my eye!

Gah, whatever! So by now I'm feeling fairly uncomfortable and like I might make a fool out of myself some how so I get up and stand on the platform as the train aproaches.

Simple shit, right? No.

Train is here, we're both stood in front of the first and last doors of two different carriages, meaning I won't have to freak myself out by thinking too much about not staring at this person, and they won't be freaked out by me staring at them. Door slides open, neither of us move. Sort of like we're anticipating the other's next step.
I move towards one door, but so so does she, so she moves towards the other, but then so do I! Ffffuck, no idea what's going on, its like when you walk in to someone on the road and you try to get out of each other's way but you keep shuffling to the same side. What a bother.

Anyway, we some how manage to get on the train, different carriages, sitting facing opposing directions and all that but the thing is...neither of us moved that far down the carriage, and the window is right there. SO I keep looking to see if she's still on the train, I guess just out of curiosity, whatever she was an interesting looking type and I guess she does the same to see if I'm still looking.

Train keeps moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, and I'm listening to Lifetime or something to take my mind off the whole ordeal. I look down to her carriage, I don't see anything where she was sitting, she's gone or something or got up and moved. Phew!
Not really, she was only leaning back in to her seat and as I'm innocently staring at what I thought was an empty seat, she jolts foward and sees me looking! Fuck. Damn.

Here's the kicker though, really, this person has one of the least expressive faces ever - like we're playing a game of poker or something, she's not giving a damn thing away, so at this point, as pathetic as it may sound to any sane, well adjusted, romanticly inclined, experienced and succint person; I just wasn't sure exactly where this was going, maybe this was some coy form of flirtation? Right? Like out of a chick lit book or one of those art house films where two awkward losers get it together and fuck relentlessly? Coulda been right? Coulda been...

SO I get to my stop, finally. Things seem fairly okay right until I see her get off at the same stop, but it's cool because she's infront and I'll just walk behind these two slow guys in front of me so that there ends up being more distance between me and this stranger I've been half stalking for the last fifteen or so minutes.

Not that simple.

Turns out we're both headed towards the central line, uh, not my fault, okay? I'm a normal human being. I don't have any control over the comings and goings of attractive European looking girls who could probably be about my age give or take a year or two and has* an interesting hair style and colour. It's just out of my hands, act of God. Premiums wouldn't cover it. ffffuck.

So I'm walking down the tunnel, she's in front, ahead. I'm walking towards the stair well, she's ahead, not a great amount of distance, but enough. We're on the stairs, someones having a hard time with their bags, slows us both down, we're close. Too Close. I'm walking towards the top of the stairs, eyes down, watching my steps, trying to not to pay attention to a single thing. Jersey's Best Dancers is about halfway through and I'm thinking about what I'll play next on my iPod. All is good, I guess.

Get to the top of the stairs. Don't really pay attention to anything, but I see the girl sort of half hesittently step in the direction of the opposite platform to me. Fuck yeah, I'm safe! I don't really pay attention to anything, just sort of move further down the platform. Turn around for a second, she's there, right behind me, still walking. Platform is pretty dead by the way, so, I mean she could have stopped walking at any point and taken a seat far away from me. I think about the look on my face when I looked back just then, I felt pretty pissed off, so it must have been a pretty pissed off look I gave her. I know she saw it cause she looked right fucking at me when I looked back. Goddamn.

Train comes, thank god. Carriages crowded, I walk further down, she doesn't. All is well.

All is not well.

About two stops in I realise this train is going in completely the opposite direction I want (towards Stratford, I'm trying to get to Tottenham Court) and this whole rigmaroll with this stupid girl and my stupid head have caused me to get on the wrong train. I get off at Bethnal Green, fairly pissed off actually. As I walk up the platform and towards the exist, I see Her. Standing to the right of me, on the the train, waiting for the doors to close. Her hair, Her headphones and that goddamned expressionless face of hers all freaking me the fuck out.

Goddamn it.

I get to the club, order a drink, stand by myself for a while, sit down, stand up, walk right in to a girl, apologise like a madman but don't offer to help her pick up her things though she clearly felt as though I should have, sit down, have my back touched by a strange woman who looks about thirty, meet my friends, get drunk, smoke, bump in to people from my uni at a Subway, get the bus home, try to sleep, puke out my window, get back in bed, and fall asleep.

*I don't know if that grammar is correct

Tuesday, February 3

Another dream.

I had a really scary dream the other night. All of my scary dreams are essentially the same, someone's always trying to kill me or someone's about to be killed and it's usually always a girl. This one was weird cause the person had no face and when I woke up in the dark of my room I could have sworn to god I saw the faceless wraith right in front of me, like something out of ghostbusters.

I was covered in sweat.

I should lay off the acid.

Sunday, February 1

I went in and got up against betty's warm ass.

"Don't go to Paris, they wouldn't like you!"
"Do you know what a hipster is?"
"Its like the Amsterdam of ....*"

"Have you ever been to Trailer Trash?"
"Well, your mother is a supermarket lady!"
"I'm going to go the sor-bon or the cor-told"
"Do you like my cool shoes, Charlie?"

Two sets of utterances by two different morons, none of it was ironic, tongue in cheek or perhaps even vaguely satirical. This is the grotesque face of reality, right here.

On end of the spectrum we have an Anglo-Parisian faux-bohemian who likes to talk too much and try too hard.
On the other, a sad, sad, sad example of what two people with better finances than parental skills can produce.

I don't know where these fuck-ups appear from but I'm always running in to them, its like...well I don't even know what its like! Its funny (the best we can do is to laugh at these things): guys like Max and girls like whatever the fuck that girl's name was are probably, at this very moment in time having more fun than I am. I'm in my room, alone, writing this and thinking of "clever" things to write in my facebook status.

Maybe its me. Maybe I'm the asshole.

Whatever, her friend had the cutest fucking accent in the world. She caught me staring at her as she spoke to her friend, glanced back, looked upwards, and rolled her eyes, then turned the other way. Then left.

One for the wank bank I guess. I should get an offshore tax haven the amount of deposits I've been making of late.

*some place in America, I stopped listening at this point