Saturday, December 27

Weird dreams

Dreamed there was a nuclear war or something like that and I was stuck at a friend's house. Really wanted to get back to my house but I couldn't. I can't remember what else happened, but I remember taking a bus and a plane to canada and maybe dying.


Wednesday, December 17

1,2,3,4,5 so many friends!

There was this girl named Sophie I went out with for about a month when I was about 15 and even though I absolutely knew she was cheating on me (a lot) I had no idea what to do about it, we'd go on dates, and we never made it past first base despite the fact that I had it on incredibly good authority that she was DTF.

I had less of a spine back then than I do now.

There was this girl Holly who I met when I was sixteen and hooked up with just before I'd turned eighteen, our "relationship" consisted of her trying her absoloute hardest to piss me off and me whining about it to Matt. I told her to shut up on our first date, heck I even stopped in the middle and told her to "be quiet" once when we were doing stuff cause her Debbie does Dallas style caterwalling was just getting to be too much.

She bothered the hell out of me and I remember I broke up with her at a party not more than ten minutes after she got there, felt so good!

Once I was sat in Thomas Neal Centre reading a comic book in the little caffe bit and there was this girl sat across from me who worked in one of the shops, she was reading a book.

We both kept looking up and sort of half exchanging pleasant looks, like maybe one of us would talk to each other. None of these looks were sustained for more than a second though and it was until some weird old gay guy came over and started asking me the most bizzarre questions about my life that she started looking in my direction and smiling without pause. I was incredibly uncomfortable so I pretended I had a phonecall and left.

I finally took that walk I was talking about, it was only from the bottom of new cross gate to the top of jerningham road (basically from the bottom of the hill to the top) and lasted about four songs but it was pretty much the best thing i've done in a while, just powering up a hill in the freezing cold listening to some awesome tunes (prefab sprout guys, look that shit the fuck up) and enjoying my own company. Then I got to Jack's house and smoked some hash, it was like a little reward!

Life feels really good right now, which I guess serves as a testament to exactly how fickle I am but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts and hopefully it will. Its always good to be happy.

Monday, December 15

My moustache is getting thicker

Of all the things I regret now and of all the things I will no doubt grow to regret in the future, I regret most that I never took learning the guitar as seriously as I should have when I was younger. I got one for Christmas when I was twelve, I had a few lessons at school and there was a point where I was steadily getting better at it.

I'd probably be at least semi proficient by now! There's still time to learn though right? I heard the Hispanic guy from metallica didn't start learning till he was like sixteen and look where he is now!

I've got a head full of idea really but nowhere to put them, I'm friends with a lot of visually and aurally creative and talented people and I deeply envy the way in which they're all able to express themselves. I guess I can pick up a pen or sit behind a keyboard and do that whole thing relatively well, but bitter rants and critical essays aren't particularly nice to look at or listen to.

I spoke to some guy doing music at Goldsmiths about this once, he said I should "just try".

I guess there's nothing wrong with trying.

Oh by the way, I had a weird dream where zombies had taken over my university and the only safe place was anna's student halls, but they weren't in new cross they were in russel square.

Thursday, December 11

i am your lady and you are my man

Did you ever read that one Garfield strip where he finds out that the guy who owns him has been dead for like five years or some shit and he just lives in an empty house hallucinating about being a dick and eating lasagne?


I saw it once, was pretty mind blowing

the above is the last original calvin and hobbes strip